Star*Drive Gaming Quotes

This probably isn't going to make much sense to those who aren't a part of our Star*Drive parody campaign, but for those of you that are, here are those hilarious quotes from Drew's session parodying the Neutral Zone. I thought about parring the list down to just my favorites, but that was pretty much most of the ones I wrote down. So, I leave it to you, the interested quote reader, to skim through and find your own favorites.

• COMPUTER: I raise two hours of life support.

• FARRY: They've cured the common cold...
• KASHKEN: And the common religion apparently?

• FARRY: I raise three back massages!
• KASHKEN: ...and I raise two axe hits to the head!

• FANG HOLOGRAM: I don't even see why I need to be here. There's already enough interpersonal conflict in this group!

• KASHKEN: I raise 10,000 bacon almonds.
• JULIA: And I raise two painless surgeries.
• THREE: Are your surgeries normally painful?
• JULIA: They can be...

• THREE: I raise two hours with the anti-grav off!

• THREE: You should start betting crewmembers...
• CRICKET: I raise three redshirts of your choice.

• FARRY: I'll raise a personal counseling session with yours truly.
• KASHKEN: I'm tempted to raise a painless death or clubbing, your choice.

• JULIA: I'll overlook it if you do well on your test.
• GARRETH: At least I can build lovebots and don't have to rely on cadavers.

• COMPUTER: SPDs: sexually programmed diseases.

• FARRY: Aren't we supposed to use diplomacy and peace and...
• CRICKET: Pfft!

• COMPUTER: Shall I ready the munitions diplomacy?

• CRICKET: Let's go boldly where no one wants us!

• FARRY: Captain, I sense...
• THREE: ...feelings of inadequacy?

• COMPUTER:  I do not assess Tinkers & Tramps as an artful publication.

• ENSIGN IMA GONNADIESOON: I really feel like this is my day to join you on the away team, Captain.
• CRICKET: Although you're our pilot, that makes sense!

• THREE: Just set it on stun, he's used to it.
• CRICKET: There's a stun setting?

• DREW (GM): And a ship decloaks off the port bow... AND IT'S KEG-SHAPED!

• COMPUTER: Warning, chartreuse alert! Taco drive offline.

• COMPUTER: Welcome back, musketeers. Your eyeliner is adjacent.
• CRICKET: My what's open?

• FARRY: Do we fix the computer by banging on it?
• THREE: Percussive maintenance?

• THREE: Is this the Omega Omicron Zone? No wait, that's an erogenous zone.

• THREE: Captain, pull yourself together. It's just a frowny face from a drunk computer that doesn't resemble a human expression.

• JULIA: No one dies, right?
• CRICKET: I can't in good faith promise that.

• COMPUTER: Attention, Ensign Rickey is currently pleasuring himself to photographs of Doctor Julia Tusher.

• JULIA: Let's go see if there are innocents we can murder in cold blood.
• CRICKET: Doctor! We would never do such a thing...
• THREE: Roll it! (meaning a bluff check)

• KASHKEN: Permission to engage in Dorito-related activities, sir?
• CRICKET: Granted!

• KASHKEN: Did you intoxicate and rape our ship's computer?

• CRICKET: Our ship can self-destruct, can yours?

Who else in Star*Drive can't wait for Nate's session? I know I can't!