Star*Drive Gaming Quotes
This probably isn't going to make much sense to those who aren't a part of our Star*Drive parody campaign, but for those of you that are, here are those hilarious quotes from Drew's session parodying the Neutral Zone. I thought about parring the list down to just my favorites, but that was pretty much most of the ones I wrote down. So, I leave it to you, the interested quote reader, to skim through and find your own favorites.
- COMPUTER: I raise two hours of life support.
- FARRY: They've cured the common cold...
- KASHKEN: And the common religion apparently?
- FARRY: I raise three back massages!
- KASHKEN: ...and I raise two axe hits to the head!
- FANG HOLOGRAM: I don't even see why I need to be here. There's already enough interpersonal conflict in this group!
- KASHKEN: I raise 10,000 bacon almonds.
- JULIA: And I raise two painless surgeries.
- THREE: Are your surgeries normally painful?
- JULIA: They can be...
- THREE: I raise two hours with the anti-grav off!
- THREE: You should start betting crewmembers...
- CRICKET: I raise three redshirts of your choice.
- FARRY: I'll raise a personal counseling session with yours truly.
- KASHKEN: I'm tempted to raise a painless death or clubbing, your choice.
- JULIA: I'll overlook it if you do well on your test.
- GARRETH: At least I can build lovebots and don't have to rely on cadavers.
- COMPUTER: SPDs: sexually programmed diseases.
- FARRY: Aren't we supposed to use diplomacy and peace and...
- CRICKET: Pfft!
- COMPUTER: Shall I ready the munitions diplomacy?
- CRICKET: Let's go boldly where no one wants us!
- FARRY: Captain, I sense...
- THREE: ...feelings of inadequacy?
- COMPUTER: I do not assess Tinkers & Tramps as an artful publication.
- ENSIGN IMA GONNADIESOON: I really feel like this is my day to join you on the away team, Captain.
- CRICKET: Although you're our pilot, that makes sense!
- THREE: Just set it on stun, he's used to it.
- CRICKET: There's a stun setting?
- DREW (GM): And a ship decloaks off the port bow... AND IT'S KEG-SHAPED!
- COMPUTER: Warning, chartreuse alert! Taco drive offline.
- COMPUTER: Welcome back, musketeers. Your eyeliner is adjacent.
- CRICKET: My what's open?
- FARRY: Do we fix the computer by banging on it?
- THREE: Percussive maintenance?
- THREE: Is this the Omega Omicron Zone? No wait, that's an erogenous zone.
- THREE: Captain, pull yourself together. It's just a frowny face from a drunk computer that doesn't resemble a human expression.
- JULIA: No one dies, right?
- CRICKET: I can't in good faith promise that.
- COMPUTER: Attention, Ensign Rickey is currently pleasuring himself to photographs of Doctor Julia Tusher.
- JULIA: Let's go see if there are innocents we can murder in cold blood.
- CRICKET: Doctor! We would never do such a thing...
- THREE: Roll it! (meaning a bluff check)
- KASHKEN: Permission to engage in Dorito-related activities, sir?
- CRICKET: Granted!
- KASHKEN: Did you intoxicate and rape our ship's computer?
- CRICKET: Our ship can self-destruct, can yours?
Who else in Star*Drive can't wait for Nate's session? I know I can't!
Comments
Hehe. Silly stuff!
Looking forward to seeing what craziness the next will entail!